There is something in Raven that breaks with every new word that comes out of Charles' mouth. She's known, or at least suspected, that he didn't feel that way toward her, but that's the point of hope, isn't it? It's something to cling to because you don't know any better. It's why she's never asked him before. She wants to cling to that hope like a child clings to a warm blanket. If she could, she'd take back the words that have sprung from her mouth. She wishes she could say that she was joking, kidding, but even if she does, it won't change the answer that he's given her.
He loves her like a sister. Never have words been so cruel, especially when she can't even blame him for them. Of course he sees her like a sister. He's raised her as one. He's the one who was there every time she scraped a knee or was bullied in class or even when she was just lonely. But there are lines that brothers just do not cross and she has found the one.
She flinches when she laughs - that bit of cruelty is something she can blame on him - and pulls away again when he tries to move back closer to her. She can't. She's already done the one thing that would hurt her most, she's already opened up to her in the way that she's always been terrified about - and he's shut the door in her face. She can't go back to the way things were. She can't stay locked behind that door and pretend she doesn't have the feelings she does. It's not fair to her or to him.
"Charles." She begins slowly, but the words come from someplace deep inside. They're words that have been waiting to be said. "I'm not your little sister. You may think of me like that and we may have grown up together, and maybe that makes me your sister in your mind, but...but you don't have to protect me anymore. Don't forget, I'm not that much younger than you are. I may not be able to have some kind of a normal life, but I want one. You were always the only one I could imagine having that life with because with you, I wouldn't have to be everyone else's normal. I could be my own. But...but I understand."
She's outside, but she's already getting claustrophobic. She needs to get out, get away, have some time to herself to think.
"I need to go now. okay? I can't do the 'happy little family'. Not tonight. I promise that I'll be back before morning, but I need a walk. By myself."
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He loves her like a sister. Never have words been so cruel, especially when she can't even blame him for them. Of course he sees her like a sister. He's raised her as one. He's the one who was there every time she scraped a knee or was bullied in class or even when she was just lonely. But there are lines that brothers just do not cross and she has found the one.
She flinches when she laughs - that bit of cruelty is something she can blame on him - and pulls away again when he tries to move back closer to her. She can't. She's already done the one thing that would hurt her most, she's already opened up to her in the way that she's always been terrified about - and he's shut the door in her face. She can't go back to the way things were. She can't stay locked behind that door and pretend she doesn't have the feelings she does. It's not fair to her or to him.
"Charles." She begins slowly, but the words come from someplace deep inside. They're words that have been waiting to be said. "I'm not your little sister. You may think of me like that and we may have grown up together, and maybe that makes me your sister in your mind, but...but you don't have to protect me anymore. Don't forget, I'm not that much younger than you are. I may not be able to have some kind of a normal life, but I want one. You were always the only one I could imagine having that life with because with you, I wouldn't have to be everyone else's normal. I could be my own. But...but I understand."
She's outside, but she's already getting claustrophobic. She needs to get out, get away, have some time to herself to think.
"I need to go now. okay? I can't do the 'happy little family'. Not tonight. I promise that I'll be back before morning, but I need a walk. By myself."