TFLN Continuations

[notsogroovy]

Did we do a start in TFLN? Here's where things go when CAPTCHA starts.

Comments

[notsogroovy]

Nothing. It's nothing. Not important.

[aberranthubris]

Raven....

[notsogroovy]

If you don't know why I left in the first place, there's no point dredging up ancient history. We should just move on.

[aberranthubris]

I promised you I wouldn't read your mind. You make it sound like there is more to it.

Did I do something? Something more? Were you hurt? I'm...

I love you and I wish you would trust me. But I suppose I have not given you much of a reason to do that.

[notsogroovy]

No? You intimated that you had when you told me to leave. You made it seem like you knew exactly what'd been keeping me with you all those years and what was driving me away. You gave me your blessing, like you were agreeing with the conclusions I'd drawn.

[aberranthubris]

What were those conclusions, Raven? I tried to honour your wishes and not read your mind. But you made it pretty clear that you weren't happy with me. So, how could I keep you tied up to something you didn't believe in?

[notsogroovy]

It wasn't something I believed in. Hoped, maybe. Wondered about. But you never gave me any indication that you...

I can't do this. I put it behind me. Years ago. I moved on and you never had to.

[aberranthubris]

It would be a lot easier to understand if you'd tell me what we're talking about.

[notsogroovy]

It would actually make it a lot worse. Trust me in that.

[aberranthubris]

Would it? Weren't we saying that we should start with an open mind and be candid with each other? What could make it that much worse?

Whatever it is, I will never adore you less. You know that, don't you?

[notsogroovy]

Fond. Adore. Love, even. Those were always the words you gave me. You want to know if you hurt me? Those were the words that hurt.

[aberranthubris]

... how?

[notsogroovy]

How do you think, Charles? even you aren't this obtuse.

[aberranthubris]

Because you wanted something else.

[notsogroovy]

Of course I wanted something else. And don't tell me you never knew because I will come over there and laugh in your face.

[aberranthubris]

Do I need to spell it for you? In addition to having had the worst case of hypocritical ego trip, I also tend to fly with blinds on.

[notsogroovy]

I know all about your ego. I lived with it for years. But even you couldn't have missed this, Charles. Maybe you didn't want to know, but I can't imagine that you never even suspected.

[aberranthubris]

Mind is a powerful thing. Even if something would be obvious,
it often isn't because we're used to thinking it in a different light.

It rings true in everything else that I thought about you. Why not this? Please, don't make me into more of a criminal than I already am.

If I had known about your feelings, do you think I would have acted in such a callous way? You don't seem to think much of me but trust me on this,
I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose.

[notsogroovy]

Do I think you would have kept me firmly in the sister role and tried your best to let me down without ever confronting the issue directly? Yes. Yes, I do.

It wasn't exactly like I was subtle. How many sisters ask their brothers if they'd date them?

[aberranthubris]

How am I supposed to know? I don't have any siblings.

I'm sorry that's what you think of me.

[notsogroovy]

I think you'd let me down gently but awkwardly, that's what I think of you.

[aberranthubris]

I don't know. We'll never know, most likely.

[notsogroovy]

No, I suppose we never will.

[aberranthubris]

And now, do you still feel the same?

[notsogroovy]

Now? Now it's been twenty years and what I said before is still accurate. We don't know each other.

[And she's painfully aware she's sidestepping the question because of course she does. And of course she doesn't. And her feelings for Charles are as complicated as hers for Erik.]